May 6, 1856

My own beloved Charlotte-
Our last mail a day belated and just in has brought me yours of April 17 + 18 mailed 20-+ Father's of 17 + TGH Cor - 18 HGC - 20 MC Welch also one of 20th from Minot A Asborn of New Haven. Mrs. Calhoun's death came as a heavy shock to me. Of some things in your letter I must take another time to speak. I earnestly hope you will always be willing to speak frankly and fully on such points as seem to you to need explanation or to indicate errors of judgment in me. Capt. K told you and me that he had not seen Mr. Lines and Mr. Lines in answer to my questions told me the same but he had told other people otherwise as I wrote and as you remember. I told you early in the winter - on the information of Mr. Ball of New Haven though I do not think I showed you Mr. Ball's letter, told you that the information came from it. Mr. Lines told me his information came from HW Hutchinson - you could not make and forgive you for anything you write on these themes - if I were sitting by your side - but I wish I were - to thank you and talk more of them and may dear topics. When I take the pencil it is my main impulse to talk to you but my Father and Mother have set their hearts on me so much and bound up their lives in mine closely that I do not like to have them think I have nothing to say to them. And I will try and not much to you that I should hesitate to show - I have no inclination to conceal from them or my sisters my experience with Mr. Lines or anything I have said of him. It will not be very long till the time when the thoughts of all our hearts will be made known in sunlight. I do not regard Mr. L with unmixed animosity and should be sorry if scarcity of paper poverty of language or want of time or patience should lead me to give you any unfair impression of him. I do not doubt and I don't see why I should not say, that he has attempted to make a speculation out of his dealings with me - by false accounts - but you cannot weigh his [umptations?] and we who are so in need of mercy must not exact too much or judge too harshly of our fellow servants. As to publishing or marriage in the papers -- let us do no such thing. We were under peculiar circumstances and must not count it much that we are judged peculiarly by those who had no appreciation of our trials. I can have none. We do not design to enter into explanations with them at present. Explanations will all come in good time - when today shall declare - let us not worry. Let not your heart be troubled. We would have had [card? ] out and friends about us - had it not been for circumstances of which the blame does not rest with you or me. We need not speak of blaming anyone, but it may [turned?] to establish the [equil?] of our thoughts to look at the shame of the [?] in our trials - sometimes. I do not feel ashamed of the unpleasant circumstances of Mary’s waywardness or your mother's weakness. thought it may not be worthwhile to tell all the story and everybody who says or suspects that you were violently carried away from house - + married in delaine and calico - and that then we both were so much ashamed of it that we have parted with no intention of ever meeting again. If I were sitting by your side could you forgive me for talking thus? If you did - I should set you [depreon?] in by telling one many things - It would take ten such letters as your last to tell all that is in your heart on the subject you introduce or suggest. Your thoughts are more dear and more sacred to me than those I ever told you yet. [?] and I do want you should take time or make time to talk freely with me. Let Mary give you time or for it - can you not for my sake ask her sometimes to help you in the domestic cares of the household so has to gain time for talking to me? Mr. Woodford is not here and will probably not be. You will probably see his letter and Mr. Lines’ in the Hartford Evening Press - Henry has kindly sent 6 Hartford papers in the packages. none came by last mail - even found thin ones.

May 1, 1857

Mr. Norton had set his heart on seeing Kansas – + was willing to establish Alonzo there. Mrs. Kelsey could on no condition part from Elisabeth – they and we all call her Lizzie – Mr. Norton the elder is now sick in Peter Sharai's house somewhat like our mother but gets better more rapidly from sore heels – in consequence of walking for a fortnight or three weeks across the Kansas prairie. Mr. Kelsey's tent is pitched adjacent to Mr. Coe's and opposite the house Mr. Isbell has built since he wrote me in Feb and in it are Mrs. Kelsey, Mr. 35 + Mrs. 17 Alonzo Norton – Hattie Kelsey 12 and four boys (14-10-8-2) Alonzo has chosen a farm + is building a house. His wife has been writing and telling Mr. Crumbs of her story which I was telling you of the Potawatomi’s Chief – she was telling one of her husband's brothers the same story by letter, now her mother has come in + is making bread – as they have been disappointed in getting a store and are baking in Mr. Coe's kitchen for the present. Mrs. Norton would entertain you very much. I reckon she would please you too. She writes very easily rapidly and prettily and is a very fine singer and agreeable talker. But I am sorry for her + would not bear to see you in a similar position to hers very well. But she is happy. Her father laughs at Alonzo and says it is ridiculous that he who never did anything in Conn. should think he could live on a Kansas farm. But Alonzo takes hold – I think as well as anybody else + seems to have more hope + quite as much energy – as either of his fathers. His wife has told me quite a number of yarns – I should not like to have you resemble her in some things though she is very pleasing.

I have been talking to day with Mr. Bisbey - who lives nearest where my corn grew last year and occupies a portion of the land within the same fence. From his accounts I am satisfied that the crop of corn was larger than I had estimated it add that if it had all been secured I should have had 300 bales or more. Mother asks how I found things on my arrival. Enough to try my faith and patience very much. Mr. Lines had circulated the report that had bought me out and that I was not coming back and Mr. Parker Mr. Walter (who was interested with Mr. Street in the affair with Mr. Webb) thought they would secure themselves if possible of anything I had let behind me Mr. Coe also with whom I had boarded took on him to dispose of the contents of my trunks to meet his own wants and those of others and besides it seems that the trunks have been exposed to some other examinations while he was gone below, sundry little knick knacks are gone or broken which I very much regret. Mr. Coe had on one of my vests when I first saw him - Mr. Isbell's family had my heavy over-coat and this mixed dark gray frock coat I got about the time I left home - not a pair of stockings remains - and only faint traces of about one third of my shirts. I did not like to tell of these things till the heat of my provocation had time to escape – + I only mention it in answer to questions now – for I am not quite cool. So far as I can find, Aurelia perhaps took some opportunity of examining my baggage - I conjecture that she may have taken 4 of 5 pairs of socks - a number of shirts - two sheets - and some little tri__ articles. But I do not know or imagine that I have any way to find out - my tent has stood through the winter and been useful - my tools and the damage to the big wagon are the worst loss except the corn the opportunities of business. I regret my seeds very much - all gone. The mice made nests. Mr. Coe did what he could to keep and take care of them hoping I might give him some of them or something for his care of them. I do not complain of him or Mrs. Isbell's family for the appropriating articles of clothing - I am very glad they did - probably should myself in like circumstances. The Conn. boxes or some of them at least whose safe arrival Mr. Lines only published in the papers, never came to hand and the winter has been a cruel one.

WABAUNSIE, KANSAS
MAY 1, 1857

The great chief of the Potawatomi’s died 8 or 10 day since, (a famed war chief in his youth, the oldest man in the tribe). His mourning tribe piled a huge heap of stones on the summit of Shun gaming mound overlooking a wide extent of country - and placed large stones at the top of the heap so as to serve the purpose of a big arm chair - and there he sits in state with his head muffled in his blanket - while his people came to pay their farewell visits and the palefaces to gratify their curiosity and to study the ways and the superstitions of the red men - his funeral is to come off with great pomp and circumstance next Sabbath and I fear will tempt some of our people. I have labored with some church members, who were very much in danger of going down - several of whom I have since [?] it is perhaps 25 or 28 miles. Our new church building has been hindered by sundry causes, pecuniary and social as well as political - but two or three carpenters are at work upon it now - in hope to see it ready for use before long. The frame has been partly ready for some time - our meetings for the present, as through the winter are with Mr. F. W. Ingham of Middletown who has a house somewhat like mine [diagram] the roofing poles covered first with a thatch of prairie grass and then with sod-making a very warm winter habitation - some 35 or 40 were there last Sabbath to hear Dean Leonard - who discoursed from Revelation 7:17 for an hour or more. The audience would perhaps have been larger if it had been supposed that we were to have any preaching. M. Jones was absent, at the [Congry?] Convention Topeka. And Mr. [Welsh?] had declined to officiate otherwise than in conducting a prayer meeting in such cases. Mr. Leonard commenced a course of study for the ministry, left it on account of failing health.

I had agreed to go with Mr. [Welsh?] to try if we could organize a neighborhood mission meeting among the Germans 10 or 12 miles south of this on Mill Creek I think I have told you of a visit I made last summer how I was interested in one family of whose experiences i learned something. My friend is dead - this widow married again - since my visit in Connecticut her position was a very trying one after her husband's death. He came 2 years before her from Germany to southern Ohio and they had been married 18 years ago she came to Ohio to marry him. They had at mill creek one of the prettiest places, and one of the most formidable dogs I have seen in the territory and three pleasant girls and two boys for ornaments. We propose d.v. to by another trip there next Sabbath. we were prevented last Sabbath by the misadventures which befell Mr. [Weller?] in regard to his cow which wandered 3 or 4 miles and gave him a world of vexation. So we attempted Our own bible class that is a very interesting and animated one after which Mr. Leonard held forth as I was telling - I spent most of the Sabbath alone reading the psalms. Elizabeth Kelsey age 17 was teaching school in Madison, Conn last summer. A north had visited her at home often their ---- liked [?] to call on her at school room sometimes near 4 o clock. one day she dismissed her school at 4 as usual, got into his carriage, rode with him to call on the minister and was united in the holy bonds - next morn she was in her school room at 9 as usual - his father having a good farm and some bank stock etc. and having cost his wife --- adventure and had set his heart very much on a trip to Kansas. Mr. Kelsey …. after the ….. was …… took the children into consideration tough not without signs of reluctance.

(no date)

[note]13 oth chg to G.H. Coe
The big wagon has earned $18 since I left and my tent. For my corn I have an acct of 33 to be paid from the avails of the new sawmill when my turn comes. Mr. Coe gave me his note for 54.33 for sundries since my absence (tent grindstone sold potatoes beef &&.) S.M. Thomas owed me some team work and has been unfortunate with his cattle lost 3 oxen + a cow + calf – and tells me he would rather try to pay me the money than fulfill his original bargain – this will be about $30. I do not know that I have told you of him – he is brother of Kitty – a very genial warm-hearted entertaining boy + I am thoroughly sorry for his misfortunes. G.H. Thomas owes me 29.54 for ploughing last year. Wm Fairfield team work worth 30. I have paper of C.B. Lines nominally 217.66 –but do not know whether I can use it. I have other accounts not far from 40.94 in all if collectible about 435.47 but I cannot use much of this at present without what seems to me like court enactions – you can not perhaps fairly appreciate either my views of the case or the situation of some of these people –and I could use it all – the mill is more than $300 behind hand and requires $160 beside to put it in trim. It has been sadly used some of the time. I have not touched it yet because I have not been able to see my way clear. It is running as heretofore in the charges of Mr. Lines' agents and so they have at length begun to get acquainted with it. they sometimes make it earn $15 in a day and cost about 10 if my hands had not been tied by my disappointments in the summer I could have cleared my tract and taken possession in September after the war I think I would probably have made the sawmill earn $15 a day and cost $7.50 for handling through the autumn and winter. You see what a difference this would make in the course of 6 months. I never was better satisfied with my original bargains in a pecuniary point of view than I am now. But the machinery has been entirely unsheltered all this time and is so yet. And of course is somewhat damaged. It is far more injured by other causes. Do not worry about me and as your Captain told me do not expect too much from one and you may perhaps not be disappointed. It may be some time longer before I get ready to home than I hoped before I had visited Middletown and New Haven but I hope you will have "peace at home" whatever my fortunes may be. I do not find very many promises of pecuniary prosperity or encouragement to set my heart on it in looking over the Psalms. There are better things for us. Let us seek them and pray for them and so let these trials polish and endear every link that binds our hearts together. I had a few books I can find no trace of any of them except my Village Hymns. My melon seeds the spoils of war and all the seeds I had are missing I regret this very much and there are other things which I regret but need not enumerate. I am thrown a long distance behind hand and I feel that I am growing old and have not the elasticity of spirits which you wish me to manifest of cultivate. My heart grows heavy and faint at some of these things and my day – very wearisome but I have seen you in some of my dreams.

The preemption law under which we can secure if at all the possession of our farms before we can got titles to the land, give a little trouble to those who wish to settle in a village and sell the land in small building lots since no man can when the land comes into market get his little by preemption if he has sold or agreed to sell any part of the land he claims, hence it is necessary to get some other kind of title for village property there are various ways of doing this. One is by means of what is called an Indian Float which is substantially equivalent to a land warrant for a square mile – or a certificate from the gvt authorizing the person to whom it is given to occupy + possess without payment any 640 acres of unoccupied land he may choose – within certain limits. A Land Warrant given to a solider of the Mexican War – is a certificate that for his services, he is entitled to 160 acres of land. If he comes to Kansas or Iowa with such a certificate, he may settle where he pleases – and on showing this certificate at the Receiver of the land office with him a title deed without payment – if the original owner of a float or 640 acre warrant, sells it to me, I can take possession in of it – of a plot sufficient for a little village site. There are two floats located at Lawrence and Gov. Robinson holds a claim by preemption between them. His claim is content – and he has a long list of private quarrels on his hand about it – as Phillips told me the other day. Phillips has bought and paid for some lots which come within Gov. K's claim – so that he is one of the contestants. There are only few floats remaining which can be located in Kansas the N.E . Emigrant Aid Co. have two in their control and I suppose there are not more than two others. Some of our boys were making an attempt to negotiate with Gen. Pomeroy for a float to secure our town site and also as you may recollect in M Isbill's letter for the erection of a hotel here. Mr. Lines hearing of it was very much disturbed and among other things he did wrote to the E.A.C. that there was no person or persons here competent or legally able to negotiate for any such purpose without his consent and that of the E Aid Co. must not enter into any such arrangement. "our folks" & especially the ladies who live in tents houses as all building is for the time suspended [?]. And consequently somewhat are exasperated for they have been subjected by the means to a heavy disappointment and considerable loss. As a French man had filed at the land office a notice of his intention to take my claim and had but some of my wood haul down the foundation of a house. that is had attempted to jump I shall probably have a contest with him when the time comes to get titles and perhaps several in the meantime. there have been some other claim jumping scrapes in the vicinity. we do not shoot for them as they go in Nebraska or among our neighbors 6 miles north [?] have scared one young man very much I suppose it is said that he has writs out for 8 of us. Charging us with violently expelling him from his habituation in the night burning it and threatening his life. the penalty by Kansas law is death to each of the 8 if the offense is proved. perhaps it may be to the satisfaction of Judge Lecompte the scared young man is Lewis J. Wheeler his cousin’s Calvin Smith Esq. of Clay Co. Missouri with a plantation then worth some 12,000 and Mrs. O[?] whose husband Col. Henry O[?] has just paid $500 for a claim on the Kaw Half breed land where the [?]was found against A H Rur[?]and [?]to hold 320 acres told me that Wheeler had been sent down the river on a log from the C[?]/O[?]settlement. I have since heard that his friend dragged the river for him - supposing him [?]I do not apprehend any special [?]from his freight as yet. Come and talk with me sometimes. I am ready to cry with vexation sometimes and sometimes I am too much vexed for that. I hunger and thirst for you to comfort [?] Gen Pomeroy is mad about it too. Mr. Lines has demanded his letter back. says he was sick when he wrote it General P returned it but kept a copy of which Mr. L has no knowledge.